10+1 Good Reasons Not to Go to Elba

10+1 Good Reasons Not to Go to Elba

Hello everyone, my name is Ignazio Lamentelli, I am a seeker of bad places. From this point of view, the island disappointed me a lot. Let's go through the things I didn't like.

1. You may find a sunny climate even in winter

Is the only thing you are looking for clouds and downpours? Good! Elba Island is not the destination for you. Over there, mild, sunny weather persists virtually year-round, and it is rarely cold enough to show off my new two-inch thick gloves that I have been looking forward to wearing.

2. Food is too good

I had left my house on a diet and in perfect shape, but one day, my neighbor decided to let me try a dish called "Cacciucco all'elbana." Now unfortunately I can't stop tasting it! They should warn you: Caution Causes Addiction.

3. Perfect sunsets over the sea

If you want to avoid constant posts about sunsets over the sea retouched with filters stay away from this island! Here they throw the best ones around in your face, and what's more, without having to photoshop anything! Now my cell phone memory is flooded with beautiful photos that I might as well frame.

4. Long green Trekking sessions.

I decide to go for a short walk with my girlfriend and what do I discover? That there is not only the sea. I had to climb up green, fragrant paths and, to add fuel to the fire, what do I find behind a grove? An 11th-century Romanesque-style church. Does this seem normal to you? They don't even give you time to process the surprises that...BAM, they throw another one in your face without warning.

5. Wild and too empty beaches

After the long trekking session, we decide to take a bath. We follow the signs to a bizarrely named beach that they had recommended and walk for, imagine that, a good 10 MINUTES! An exhausting walk to a Caribbean oasis! A place that wants to go all perfunctory, showing how careful they are to preserve the environment and that UNESCO heritage called the Tyrrhenian Sea! (or, even better, the MAB - Man and the Biosphere - balance of the Tuscan Islands). And no one who had a chance to appreciate my gold and white costume.

6. Intrusive animals

For the first time in my life, I wake up to irritatingly sweet music, hummed by Robins. I had to get up even 5 minutes before the alarm clock! And then I look out and what do my weary eyes glimpse? As many as 2 martens chasing each other on the tree in front of the window. An experience to forget!

7. It affected me in every way: but every way!

I was expecting the usual insulting wine with no personality (so much so, I was satisfied with the local cuisine, with its strong and satisfying flavors). I have to say I was hoping for that. And, instead, here it is: the Ansonica. Affectionate, sweet, passionate, deep, harmonious, full-bodied, I couldn't believe my taste buds, set on lukewarm ice water. I had to change my mind: fabulous for pastoring, fragrant, enveloping on the palate, and integrable with all Elba dishes. Ouch!

8. Into the mine!

Okay, not that I was expecting hard labor, but the mine "must" have been quite gloomy and sooty, in keeping with my pre-holiday mood. Instead...sparkling quartz, magical magnetites, glittering hematite pieces of the strangest shapes...and golden pyrite minerals. After two hours of surprise in the realm of Hades, I toured all of Elba's mineralogical and geological museums. Endless discovery. A museum custodian, he swore he saw me smile-but you don't believe him.

9. Finally in exile

Five things I learned from Napoleon: that he considered Corsica to be a little overgrown Elba; that the end of the exile on Elba was imposed by the British because of a blatant property speculation operation: on the foundations of the villas of San Martino and Mulini, two horrible mansions for tourists were to be built; fortunately, the Superintendence intervened and nothing more was done about it; that Napoleon's spring contains an unknown element that stops hair from falling out, and the emperor knew it well: some jars were also on St. Helena; that, it is known, Napoleon sprinkled salt on the food with a small table cannon made of burnished brass. A great man -- too bad about that passion for bees.

10. Underneath, I might have liked it

So: I know it's not supposed to be done, but I was looking for an ordinary seashell to pick up on the beach and take home and forget in a drawer. Mask, snorkel and fins, I begin to dive at the reef of (I cannot say the name). And, nothing. All too friendly colorful fish, cute blue jellyfish to keep at a distance, yellow treasure seahorses, a couple of suspicious green turtles, petulant coral-red actinias, in short: I was breathless (and not just because I had been apnea for almost three minutes), spellbound. In the end, I didn't take anything away - I couldn't have taken anything away - but still my eyes are full of color. Oh, yes, and the costume full of the whitest sand...no place is perfect!

10+1. Too many surprises all at once

I end with this anecdote because I was shocked by what I am about to tell you. We go to King Litto beach (I didn't know there was still a monarchy on the island), I decide to take a swim, and what do I find underwater? A sunken merchant ship creating a striking landscape, I was also told that an Italian underwater photographer won the Grand Prize Nikon Photo Contest there. The island of Elba is full of surprises. Unacceptable!

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